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I have had a couple of weeks now where I have been looking at taking responsibility and what this actually means, especially regarding who is responsible for what. Here are a couple of key points that I have been reminded of over this time…

  • We cannot change anyone else , we can only change ourselves – we are responsible for how we choose to respond and behave towards another person in any given situation.
  • A clear sign that we are not taking responsibility is when we criticize others, blame others, or when we justify or make excuses. We try to ease our own discomfort by passing the “buck” when we engage in these behaviors.

The challenge is to learn how to stand up for myself without criticizing or judging others even when I am being judged or criticized. I am learning how to acknowledge and take responsibility for my mistakes, without allowing this to mean I have to take responsibility for other people’s mistakes or upsets as well.

I am learning to become more conscious in all my communications by noticing how I am responding – what am I thinking and feeling, physically and emotionally, before expressing any thoughts or opinions. I am learning how to be willing to listen to others thoughts and opinions from a place of curiosity rather than a place of defensiveness.

It is taking time and patience for me to change my old patterns and is still very much a work in progress. Sometimes I get it all wrong responding from my old unconscious patterns, however I can be more compassionate and understanding now as I can see it is all part of the learning process.


  • Where in your life do you find yourself being critical and judgmental of others? Or blaming others?
  • What are you not taking responsibility for in these situations?

If you find these questions challenging and would like some support as you explore new ways of being in relationship with others call / text Heather on 0212 406 535 or email

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