I have been very focused on achieving some very clear financial goals this year and in the process have been learning even more about the influence of my thoughts and beliefs on my ability to succeed.
There are some very strong beliefs that I have really needed to challenge to open up the opportunities for me to accomplish these goals – one of them was that life is hard, everything is a struggle or just too difficult. I realized that no matter what tools or systems I used to manage my time and money, if I was operating from this belief, my experience would always be that it is just too hard.
However what I have also learned is that as I became more and more aware of this belief and how it has showed up in all areas of my life I could choose to change it. My focus for everything I do is now on how can I make this simple, easy and fun and this is allowing me to transform the results I am achieving in many areas of my life.
So what is a recurring thought or belief that keeps showing up in your life? Are you ready to be challenged and change it?
If so email me now or phone/text 021 240 6535 to arrange a free 1 hour coaching session to help you identify your recurring beliefs, and outline how I can help you to change them.
So you have decided you want to create a change in your life – to create different results. You start doing something differently or you start to use affirmations to change how you think. Everything goes along really smoothly for a while and you feel great, then out of nowhere you get swamped by challenges or emotions that can throw you into a place of confusion and stop you in your tracks. Why couldn’t you keep it up? What got in the way of achieving your goal? Why is it all so difficult?
This is where a coach is really useful to support you through the emotional roller coaster that you may start to experience with change. It is really useful to have the space and support to reflect on what has happened to throw you off course. Here are some of the reasons that can get in the way of creating your desired results…
There may be some deeply ingrained pattern of thoughts or beliefs that you were unaware of until now and these will need to be acknowledged and cleared.
You may start to experience feelings or emotions that you have managed to avoid before with your old behaviours. We tend to make life even more difficult by making ourselves wrong and beating ourselves up for feeling or experiencing what are considered negative emotions. This just serves to make us feel worse and we can spiral down into even more negative emotions which drain us of the energy we need to fulfill the change we desire.
There are often fears that surface when you start to move into a new way of being in the world. We can feel insecure because we are entering the unknown and don’t know how to respond to the new challenges in our lives – the old ways no longer seem to work, or feel really inappropriate now.
You may be challenged or criticised by people around you who don’t like the new way you are behaving. Again this is new territory when creating change because we don’t know what to say or do and it can be very tempting to go back to our old ways or patterns. Our resolve to stay committed to the change is being tested and we need to learn new ways to respond to those around us.
To help us through these challenges it is really useful to refocus on the outcome, the goal or intention that is driving our desire to change. What is it we are hoping to achieve through making these changes in our lives?
We will also need to call on support to help us through these challenging times and this is why it is really important to build strong support networks around us. We need to know who we can call on at these times when we doubt ourselves and our ability to create lasting change in our lives. If there is no one you can call on I strongly suggest that you fill this gap before you start to make big changes in your life.
Send me an email or give me call – 021 240 6535 if you are experiencing any of these challenges and need some support to make the changes you desire a reality.
I have many clients who come to me for NLP or coaching sessions with “problems” that they want to have “fixed”. They often want a magic cure to make the problem disappear. We can achieve amazing things with NLP, however the client must always be willing to really examine how they think about the world, to be honest with themselves and then take responsibility to change the thoughts that do not support them. Until a client can do this they will achieve limited success with NLP or any other personal change work they participate in.
When it comes to “problems”, whatever the challenge, how we think about it can often be a major factor.
This is why you can have two people experiencing the same situation and one person can find it very stressful while another doesn’t. It is the habits that have been formed around how they think that can make all the difference.
It is also interesting to see that the more we want to “fix” something, the more likely we are to keep thinking about it in the same way until it starts to feel like a battle of wills. As the saying goes what we resist persists. Imagine how different it could be if we accepted a perceived “problem” as OK right now without judgment or criticism. Through thinking about it in a different way like this, the “problem” can often evolve and change seemingly of it’s own accord.
So what have you got to lose? If the old ways of thinking about your problems have not changed them why not try something different! If you have a “problem” that you want to “fix” stop for one minute right now and ask yourself…
Is this really a problem?
If it was not a problem (go right ahead and imagine if it was not a problem) how would I be thinking about it?
If it was not a problem what would I be saying to myself or to others?
If this was not a problem how would I be behaving?
I know this can be a real challenge so if you would like some support to change how you think about a challenge you are experiencing call/text Heather on 0212 406 535 or email email@example.com.
Going through periods of change can be quite daunting for many of us. There can be lots of confusion and uncertainty as we try to make sense of all the feelings and emotions, thoughts and beliefs that come rushing up to the surface as we struggle to trust ourselves in knowing what is right for us.
The decision to change may be ours totally or change can be imposed on us through redundancy, family dynamics changing, illness or even death.
There can be thoughts such as “I can’t change easily” or “I have no idea what it is I need to do next”. There can be an emptiness which can be uncomfortable after making the decision to let go of one way of being in the world, whether personally or in business, as we take time to figure out what next. We may even be beating up on ourselves for not doing what we think we “should” be doing at these times.
I have been creating some changes with my branding and how I present myself to the world and was lucky enough to be able to attend a great workshop with Yvonne De Mille called the Life Transitions. It was designed to create greater understanding of some of the issues and challenges brought about by change and developing strategies to move forward in a positive way. And she does it through her passion for creating art which was really fun and enjoyable.
So what changes are you experiencing? Do you have tools or support that you can use to help you through this time? If not, call/ text Heather on 0212 406 535 or email firstname.lastname@example.org to explore how working with a coach could help you navigate your way through the journey of change.
I have had a couple of weeks now where I have been looking at taking responsibility and what this actually means, especially regarding who is responsible for what. Here are a couple of key points that I have been reminded of over this time…
We cannot change anyone else , we can only change ourselves – we are responsible for how we choose to respond and behave towards another person in any given situation.
A clear sign that we are not taking responsibility is when we criticize others, blame others, or when we justify or make excuses. We try to ease our own discomfort by passing the “buck” when we engage in these behaviors.
The challenge is to learn how to stand up for myself without criticizing or judging others even when I am being judged or criticized. I am learning how to acknowledge and take responsibility for my mistakes, without allowing this to mean I have to take responsibility for other people’s mistakes or upsets as well.
I am learning to become more conscious in all my communications by noticing how I am responding – what am I thinking and feeling, physically and emotionally, before expressing any thoughts or opinions. I am learning how to be willing to listen to others thoughts and opinions from a place of curiosity rather than a place of defensiveness.
It is taking time and patience for me to change my old patterns and is still very much a work in progress. Sometimes I get it all wrong responding from my old unconscious patterns, however I can be more compassionate and understanding now as I can see it is all part of the learning process.
Where in your life do you find yourself being critical and judgmental of others? Or blaming others?
What are you not taking responsibility for in these situations?
If you find these questions challenging and would like some support as you explore new ways of being in relationship with others call / text Heather on 0212 406 535 or email email@example.com