Tag Archives: shoulds

Some relief from the “shoulds”

The theme for the Inspirations Cafe and Community Call was  Letting go of the “shoulds” – where do “shoulds” show up in your life?

Here are some thoughts and solutions that where shared…

  • Awareness is always the key – recognise the discomfort that usually precedes something that we feel we “should” be doing. Pause and take note of what is going on so it can be addressed.
  • Change the word – use “could” instead of “should” – it opens up more choice/ options
  • Learn assertiveness skills – learn to say no,  ask for what you want instead or check in with your heart on what needs to be done in any situation.
  • Ask “how can I make this something I want to do?” If you can’t turn it around then let it go.
  • Check in whose responsibility is this? Is it really mine?
  • Give yourself permission to do what you want to do right now – sometimes this will include doing the “shoulds” until you can figure out a way to let them go. Or it may mean doing nothing until you feel you are ready to deal with it.
  • Take advantage of the opportunity to learn – when we have  something we feel we “should” do  look at what the resistance is really all about.
  • Experiment with different approaches until you find one that is right for you. Check out my Sept 2010 blogs  – “Allow yourself to find what fits” and “I have a right
  • Become aware of different approaches to doing things generally e.g. different business models.  I came across a different approach at a business development centre in  Northern Ireland for supporting women in business and job share positions, which was once a new concept, is now becoming more common in our workplace.
  •  We need to develop more flexibility,especially when we have all or nothing/ black and white thinking.

Please add any other thoughts or comments you may have on this topic. I look forward to connecting with you all again at the next Inspirations Cafe or Community Call. Make sure you subscribe to receive the theme when it is released.