Once we clearly know what we want we can then state it as an intention…
A New Year – a new beginning – and everything is up for review…
Including how I reflect on the old year and plan for the new one. How much time did I want to spend on this process? There are many different tools and suggestions available on the best way to do this, and you may have a system that works really well for you. I had a system of questions that worked well for me over the last few years, which I created an end of year retreat around. However this year I found myself asking – do I still want to spend this amount of time on review and retrospection? The past is over so how much time do I really want to spend on it? Is there a different way that I can be with this process this year?
As a result, I found myself pulling out questions from my end of year retreat workshop, which were the ones I felt really needed my attention …
What needs to be completed to wrap up last year? Is there any unfinished business that needs attention?
What’s calling me forward in the New Year? What possibilities exist that stimulate me, generate a hint of excitement or anticipation, or a potential challenge and growth? I printed out a one page year planner to pencil in any relevant dates.
What’s my theme for the year? What’s the one word or short phrase that captures the essence of what I want to focus my attention on this year?
And lastly I noted down a few things about what I desire under the headings …
As a result the whole reflection and review process became very simple. It took half an hour and 2 pages in my A5 journal. If you haven’t you haven’t taken time to think about your year ahead yet, why not give it a go with these questions. It’s all about keeping it simple and focusing on what really matters to you! Let me know how you get on by leaving a comment below.
The discussion at this cafe focused on the challenges of fear and how to handle all those that come up in our life.
The key point to come out of the conversation today was that everyone of us will experience fear at one time or another. The feeling of fear is an emotion and it will come and go the same as any other emotions we experience – the point of choice comes in how we choose to handle fear when it arises. Here is some of what was shared today…
- Learn to accept the fear – name it and allow yourself to just sit with it for a while. In reality some things that we fear will happen – we will fail, we will be rejected at times, we will feel that we have no control over something, we will feel stuck. So having accepted the fear and where we are right now focus your attention on how you want to handle this situation when it happens, or as it exists.
- Bring yourself back to the present moment – fear only ever lives in the future – we fear what may happen. Right now in this moment we are OK – we’re still living and breathing after all! So bring your attention back to this moment by focusing on your breathing – allow yourself to take a few deep breaths and use some affirmations such as “All is well in my world” or “Whatever happens I can handle it”
- Refocus on your intentions – what do you want to have happen, how do you want your life to be? Often fears come up because we have set an intention to live our lives in a particular way and life very kindly sends us all the obstacles in the form of fears to be healed or cleared so we can achieve what we desire. Once you are clear on the intention ask yourself – what is the first step/ what do I need to do today or right now?
- Celebrate your mistakes – it is OK to make them – that is how we learn!
- Give yourself permission to change your mind, or to choose what fears you are ready to face. Remember you are in charge and you don’t have to scare the life out of yourself. It’s OK to allow your life to be calm and peaceful!!
- Get physical – we can get stuck in our heads so do something physical to shift the energy. Go for a walk, get out in the fresh air, do some anger releasing work if necessary, dance…
- Build a really strong support system – create a list of tools and resources or people you can call on to support you when you are being challenged in life. (Bach flower remedies, EFT and NLP were other modalities mentioned today that are useful in handling fear).
Here is the link for the recording from Jan Lundy, yet again, which I have found so useful in handling those times when you feel stuck. You can also check out the Susan Jeffers website as a resource for some very powerful affirmations.
Check out some of my other posts for more tools that may be useful and for those who have access to my Client Area log in to access an up to date document on Suggestions for Managing Fear.
I look forward to seeing you all at the next cafe, the last one for this year, on Tues 7th December 2010 at 9 am
What an amazing group of people who came together today for our monthly Cafe at Robert Harris in Lower Hutt – it is a real pleasure for me to be able to share thoughts and ideas and to facilitate the conversation for learning from each other. Thank you for sharing your wisdom today.
The key point to come out of the conversation was how important it is to find the method or system to manage your time with “who” you are. I shared a little of my story around how I have managed my time over the years and how it has evolved and changed as I have evolved and changed. There is no right or wrong way of doing this and as soon as you think you have it nailed life changes and it’s time to adjust. So flexibility is an absolute must, as is trust that whatever is happening right now in your life is absolutely perfect!
Some of the challenges that we talked about were being busy all the time – no space for downtime or me time to reflect and regenerate, the challenge of being motivated to do the things that we know are important for us to do, the influence of past conditioning or expectations from society about what it means to be successful in life and what we “should” be doing to achieve that success.
Some of the key tools that we were all reminded of were…
Gratitude – focus on being grateful
Coming back to the present moment to make your decisions about what next
Setting clear intentions. Use everything that is presented to you in life as an opportunity to learn and get clearer on what needs to change for you and how exactly you would like your life to be.
Allowing yourself to feel good about yourself – makes it easier to take action on the stuff that is really important to you.
Check out some tools under the Time management category that may be useful as you reflect on how you currently manage your time and how you would like it to be. Please add a comment as you continue to reflect on this topic and let me, and others, know what you’re doing differently or have learned from today.
If you would like some support around making changes in how you manage your time get in touch and we can explore how working with me as your coach could help.
A Thomas Leonard quote…
So how do you find this awareness?
- Use a journal – write down what you’re thinking, capture thoughts, insights, questions you want answered and intentions, look for the repetitive patterns and see what evolves as a result.
- Work with a coach – someone who is trained to listen, to hear what is not being said, to challenge how you think about the world and who encourages you to trust yourself.
- Define what success means for you – it is a hell of a lot easier to reach a goal or intention when you are clear what that goal or intention is.
I have been journaling for many years now and find it an invaluable tool for my own personal growth and development.
I use it in many ways at different times…
- I record any new awareness and insights that I have as a result of any courses, books or coaching that I am currently working with.
- I record observations from my day – especially synchronistic events.
- I have used it as a place to record those things I am grateful for at the end of the day. This has been particularly useful at times when I have felt discouraged or down.
- I have also used it at times when I have felt miserable or sorry for myself to focus my attention on those things that can lift me out of that place e.g. Today I enjoyed…, Today I have nurtured myself by…, Today at laughed at…, Today I challenged myself…, Today I had fun…, Tomorrow I am looking forward to …,
- I use it to reflect on the actions I took during the day – what was the result and what did I learn, with the intention of listing at least one thing I learned that day.
- I have used it to recognize my successes from the day.
- I have used it to set my intentions for the next day
- I have used it as a dumping ground when I need to clear my head and get clarity around what is most important for me to attend to at any moment.
- Recently I have used my journal as a way to monitor things I want to change – I do a quick check in on how am I feeling emotionally, mentally or physically so I can flick back and see any patterns that could be affecting my ability to make the changes I want to make.
- I use it as a place to remember things during the day – I always keep it with me in my bag.
- Sometimes I have ended my day with a question around what I want to know or support I need. Often the answer will pop up within the next day or two.
I hope this inspires you and gives you some ideas on how you can use journaling in your life for growth and development too. Remember to use it in whatever way feels right and enjoyable for you. I have written something in my journal every day in the past, however recently I am much more relaxed about the process and pick it up when I feel I want to write or have something to say or explore. There is no right or wrong way about doing this – it is about using your journal in whatever way you need to at any given time.
Please share your thoughts about journaling below by clicking on the word “comments” – I would love to hear about other ways of using a journal and how his process has been of value to you.