When you want to create change in your life it is not a good idea to start from a place of neediness or dissatisfaction.
This would seem to be a contradiction in terms when setting goals, however, along with setting your goal there must also be a level of acceptance for where you are right now. It can be very hard to come to terms with where you are now when it is causing you a lot of pain and consequently it is this part of creating change that people struggle with the most. This is where having the support of someone, such as a coach, who understands the process of creating change is really important.
It is how you handle the present moment that will dictate how difficult or easy it will be for you to create the change you desire and ultimately the success you are looking for in life.
Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth, suggests a great question to ask yourself regularly…” What is my relationship with the present moment?”
Give it a try – and when you discover any resistance to the present moment contact Heather to talk about how coaching can help eliminate this block.
There are three important components that we need to invest our time in to be successful in all that we do. There is a time for planning and preparing a plan of action, there is a time for action and there is a time for review.
Sometimes we can get stuck in one of these areas – we can spend far too long creating plans and avoiding taking action, or we can be so busy taking actions that we can end up wasting time doing things that just aren’t effective in producing the result we want. Often the review part just gets forgotten when in fact it is the most important part.
It is a good idea to take stock of what we have accomplished so we can check where we are on the journey towards our goal. We can then celebrate our successes, which motivates us to continue, and refocus on the steps that we still need to take, so that we can invest our time wisely in only those actions that will produce the results we are looking for.
So, have you reviewed your last few weeks or months recently?
So you have decided you want to create a change in your life – to create different results. You start doing something differently or you start to use affirmations to change how you think. Everything goes along really smoothly for a while and you feel great, then out of nowhere you get swamped by challenges or emotions that can throw you into a place of confusion and stop you in your tracks. Why couldn’t you keep it up? What got in the way of achieving your goal? Why is it all so difficult?
This is where a coach is really useful to support you through the emotional roller coaster that you may start to experience with change. It is really useful to have the space and support to reflect on what has happened to throw you off course. Here are some of the reasons that can get in the way of creating your desired results…
There may be some deeply ingrained pattern of thoughts or beliefs that you were unaware of until now and these will need to be acknowledged and cleared.
You may start to experience feelings or emotions that you have managed to avoid before with your old behaviours. We tend to make life even more difficult by making ourselves wrong and beating ourselves up for feeling or experiencing what are considered negative emotions. This just serves to make us feel worse and we can spiral down into even more negative emotions which drain us of the energy we need to fulfill the change we desire.
There are often fears that surface when you start to move into a new way of being in the world. We can feel insecure because we are entering the unknown and don’t know how to respond to the new challenges in our lives – the old ways no longer seem to work, or feel really inappropriate now.
You may be challenged or criticised by people around you who don’t like the new way you are behaving. Again this is new territory when creating change because we don’t know what to say or do and it can be very tempting to go back to our old ways or patterns. Our resolve to stay committed to the change is being tested and we need to learn new ways to respond to those around us.
To help us through these challenges it is really useful to refocus on the outcome, the goal or intention that is driving our desire to change. What is it we are hoping to achieve through making these changes in our lives?
We will also need to call on support to help us through these challenging times and this is why it is really important to build strong support networks around us. We need to know who we can call on at these times when we doubt ourselves and our ability to create lasting change in our lives. If there is no one you can call on I strongly suggest that you fill this gap before you start to make big changes in your life.
Send me an email or give me call – 021 240 6535 if you are experiencing any of these challenges and need some support to make the changes you desire a reality.