I was reminded this morning as I was getting dressed how important it is to take the time to find what fits best for me in any situation. I have a very clear intention of allowing myself to feel really good in the clothes that I wear and this was the benchmark I was using as I decided what to wear today. I had the time and space to play this morning as I tried on a few different combinations. I could feel my frustration as I put some items together and found that they just didn’t look right. The thought flitted across my mind that what I had on would do backed up with with a few other negative thoughts about myself as well.
However I persisted and decided to try something else on (3 times!!!) and then I nailed it – I had the outfit that fitted. I felt comfortable, it made me feel good about myself and it was fun – bright and colourful which how I wanted to feel today. And, of course, now I know that I can wear these items together in future and will feel confident and relaxed in them which frees up my mental energy to focus on other more important stuff!
“So what?” you may be thinking … well, here is the learning for me. Life is like my experience this morning.
We need to be willing to try different combinations or ways of doing things on (this means taking action!) until we find what fits us, what makes us feel good about ourselves. We need to be willing to make adjustments or to say no, that does not fit with what I need right now, and to let it go. This applies to how you live your life, who you choose to work with, how you create your environments to support your success – in fact with any decision that you need to make about how you want your life to be.
We need to have a clear intention – what is the result you want to achieve – it may be something physical or it may be intangible as it was for me – a feeling or belief that I wanted to experience.
I had the time and space physically and mentally to play and have some fun with this. Life can be so serious with our long to do lists – shorten the lists and allow yourself to create what I call white space in your diary and see what happens.
Don’t settle for less – allow yourself to experience what it is you desire.
Recognise what you already have that fits with what you desire – for me the clothes just needed to be arranged in a different way. Recognise what is already in your “wardrobe of life” that fits with how you want to be, eliminate the stuff that doesn’t fit and only then decide what needs to be added.
Hope this inspires you to find the learning’s in everyday experiences. I look forward to hearing your thoughts or comments.
You are rich if you have enough money to satisfy all your desires. So there are two ways to be rich: You earn, inherit,borrow, beg, or steal enough money to meet all your desires; or, you cultivate a simple lifestyle of few desires; that way you always have enough money…
The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.
Way of the Peaceful Warrior, A book that Changes Lives
When you want to create change in your life it is not a good idea to start from a place of neediness or dissatisfaction.
This would seem to be a contradiction in terms when setting goals, however, along with setting your goal there must also be a level of acceptance for where you are right now. It can be very hard to come to terms with where you are now when it is causing you a lot of pain and consequently it is this part of creating change that people struggle with the most. This is where having the support of someone, such as a coach, who understands the process of creating change is really important.
It is how you handle the present moment that will dictate how difficult or easy it will be for you to create the change you desire and ultimately the success you are looking for in life.
Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth, suggests a great question to ask yourself regularly…” What is my relationship with the present moment?”
Give it a try – and when you discover any resistance to the present moment contact Heather to talk about how coaching can help eliminate this block.
So you have decided you want to create a change in your life – to create different results. You start doing something differently or you start to use affirmations to change how you think. Everything goes along really smoothly for a while and you feel great, then out of nowhere you get swamped by challenges or emotions that can throw you into a place of confusion and stop you in your tracks. Why couldn’t you keep it up? What got in the way of achieving your goal? Why is it all so difficult?
This is where a coach is really useful to support you through the emotional roller coaster that you may start to experience with change. It is really useful to have the space and support to reflect on what has happened to throw you off course. Here are some of the reasons that can get in the way of creating your desired results…
There may be some deeply ingrained pattern of thoughts or beliefs that you were unaware of until now and these will need to be acknowledged and cleared.
You may start to experience feelings or emotions that you have managed to avoid before with your old behaviours. We tend to make life even more difficult by making ourselves wrong and beating ourselves up for feeling or experiencing what are considered negative emotions. This just serves to make us feel worse and we can spiral down into even more negative emotions which drain us of the energy we need to fulfill the change we desire.
There are often fears that surface when you start to move into a new way of being in the world. We can feel insecure because we are entering the unknown and don’t know how to respond to the new challenges in our lives – the old ways no longer seem to work, or feel really inappropriate now.
You may be challenged or criticised by people around you who don’t like the new way you are behaving. Again this is new territory when creating change because we don’t know what to say or do and it can be very tempting to go back to our old ways or patterns. Our resolve to stay committed to the change is being tested and we need to learn new ways to respond to those around us.
To help us through these challenges it is really useful to refocus on the outcome, the goal or intention that is driving our desire to change. What is it we are hoping to achieve through making these changes in our lives?
We will also need to call on support to help us through these challenging times and this is why it is really important to build strong support networks around us. We need to know who we can call on at these times when we doubt ourselves and our ability to create lasting change in our lives. If there is no one you can call on I strongly suggest that you fill this gap before you start to make big changes in your life.
Send me an email or give me call – 021 240 6535 if you are experiencing any of these challenges and need some support to make the changes you desire a reality.