Tag Archives: decisions

4 reasons that make it difficult to make decisions and some solutions…

1. Not enough information or lack of clarity to make a good decision.

  • What is the decision that needs to be made here?
  • Focus on the Intention – what is the purpose to be achieved from this decision?
  • Identify possible options from there.
  • Am I the right person to make this decision?
  • What information do I need? Is there more information I require before I am in a position to make a decision. Does someone else need to decide something else first?
  • Practice trust in your intuition, your gut feeling with smaller decisions so that you can then become more comfortable with using your intuition with larger decisions.
  • Practice trust in the process of life. Be willing to acknowledge there will be decisions that can’t be made now – there will be steps that you need to take which you are unaware of right now, yet also know that these will reveal themselves as you move further along your journey. Hold the intention of the final result in your mind, keep asking “What decisions do I need to make today?”  and step by step you will find yourself becoming less fearful with the decision making process as you get closer to the result you are working towards.

2. Limiting beliefs and negative self talk. Become aware of the story you tell yourself about making decisions e.g. I always get them wrong; I’m hopeless at making decisions.  Create an affirmation to counteract the negative self talk – I’m a great decision maker. I can make decisions confidently and with ease. I love to make decisions! Become curious with a key question… How can I allow this to become easier? How can I enjoy making decisions on this project? Then create some space to listen for the answers …

3. Feeling rushed or pressured. Create some space when you feel the pressure to make a decision – go for a quick walk round the block to clear your head and get fresh air, or postpone the decision until the next morning. I have a personal rule if the decision is not 100% clear for me immediately to wait 24 hours. After putting the decision on the back burner and having a good nights sleep I often know exactly what it is I need to do.

4. Fear of success, failure, rejection. It is hard to make a decision when we worry about what other people think.

  • Accept it is OK to make mistakes – that is how we learn.
  • You can also give yourself permission to change your mind if it is possible  – sometimes we need to try something out before we can confidently know if it was the right decision or not.
  • Learn to trust that the decision you make, even thought it may appear wrong, may in fact lead to the perfect solution further on. New and innovative ideas often come from mistakes!
  • Sometimes we may know what we want to do; we have made the decision in our heads however our fear of saying it can make us feel indecisive. Practice asserting your thoughts and opinions in relation to decisions, be prepared to say NO and learn how to handle others response when they are upset with what you have decided!

Inspirations Cafe Tues 5th Oct

There was so much we covered at the Cafe on Tuesday – the theme was “decision points”. Here are the questions and key points that stood out for me from our discussions.

What do you do when there is no choice in a situation?

  • Realise that you are not in charge completely
  • Practice acceptance versus resistance to what is happening.
  • Recognise that it may not be the right time to make a decision – listen to the recording below from Jan Lundy,my mentor, for some ideas on what to do in the meantime until it is the right time to make a decision.
  • Sometimes there isn’t a decision that needs to be made – get all the questions running around in your head down on paper so you can get clear on what you need to decide, if anything, right now. 
  • Choose your attitude, allow yourself to experience peace despite what is happening in your life.
  • Learn to become comfortable with uncertainty. Observe thoughts and emotions that come up and let them go. We don’t have to hold on to them.
  • Letting go of plans/ goals/ the way things should be. Try a gentler approach with more flexibility by making decisions in the moment.

How do you stick to decisions you make?

  • Create a plan and use affirmations to prepare for moments of potential weakness.
  • Rather than beat yourself up observe what happens when you break a decision that you made e.g not to eat chocolate. What’s going on in your head, how does it make you feel. When you pay attention in this way gradually over time you will discover you no longer crave what you once did and it becomes easier to stick with your decisions.

How do you make decisions that are right for you without upsetting others?

  • Need for compromise – quite an art to this really and it is the challenge in all relationships when we want to do one thing and everyone else wants us to do something else. We need to know ourselves really well so we can confidently assert ourselves. We need to be aware of selling our souls when we compromise to please others. Constantly check in with yourself – how are you feeling, how are your energy levels. These are reliable indicators to let us know if we have compromised or given away too much of our power to others. It takes practice, a willingness to make mistakes and time to reflect and learn so we can do it differently the next time.
  • You will upset others at times as you become more assertive – learn how to feel comfortable with this.

Here is the link to the recording I have mentioned http://www.awakenedliving.com/podcasts/LivingInTheMeantimeAug2010.mp3 and I have attached a flyer for the “Simplify your Life” workshop series that is starting next week.

Challenging times with Finances

It is interesting times that we are living in right now as many people face challenges with their finances – how to generate income despite the perceived downturn in the economy, or how to manage limited funds in a different way.  It seems like everyone, whether governments, big corporations or small businesses, are suddenly being called to become accountable for previous spending, debt management and results from investments. I think the opportunity at this time, for us as individuals, is to pause and take stock of the financial decisions we have made and the results we are reaping, with a view to determine what our path forward needs to be. This is an opportunity to take responsibility and learn from any mistakes so that we can create the results we want in our future. It can be an opportunity to explore and play with new ways of managing our finances, so we can learn discipline as well as how to experience more joy and pleasure from what we choose to do with our money. We can also use this time as an opportunity to learn how to simplify our lives by asking “do I really need to be spending all this money or doing all these things?” I believe there is a direct correlation between money, time and energy – adjustments in one area will reap benefits in another. So if you’re ready to make some changes to how you manage your finances get in touch to have a chat about how I can support you. Text 0212 4063 535 or email heather@inspirationscoach.co.nz

Procrastination

I had an action on my to do list that I kept avoiding and moving forward from one day to the next for a long time.

As a result of changing how I structure my days and work load I changed tact and wrote “make a decision about X” on my daily task list so I would commit to take time to reflect on what I needed to decide, make the decision and follow up with action.

So now I had a task on my daily list to “make a decision” on something that keeps getting moved from one day to the next!! I would look at the task and think, I’m not ready to make the decision, it’s too difficult to even think about.

After becoming aware of what I was doing I took a few minutes to stop and reflect on what was happening and realized that I needed more information before I could actually make the decision. So what really needed to be on my task list were the steps to gather the information so I could make an informed choice.

Seems obvious now but it wasn’t until I paused and reflected on what I was doing that I gained the clarity to stop procrastinating and take some useful action steps.

So what are you avoiding?

Would some clarity around what really needs to happen help? This is were coaching is so powerful. Email me now, or call text 0212 406 535 to arrange a time to explore some actions to get you moving again.

Clearing your head

When you are self employed or in a management position there are often a lot of different roles that you have to fill each day – lots of different details that you need to think about in each of these roles and it can be hard to know what action to take first.

Do you find yourself holding a lot of thoughts and ideas in your head?

Holding it all in your head very quickly leads to overwhelm and confusion and can cause you to feel paralyzed.

A key factor in success is being able to get all this information out of the head to create the space that is required to make good decisions about what do next. Here are three suggestions to help you…

  1. Ask a trusted family member or friend if they would be willing to just listen without judgement allowing you to pour out all your thoughts.
  2. Write it all out on paper – I am a regular journaller and find that by taking 15 min at the start of the day, or when needed, I can clear my head and get the clarity necessary to continue achieving my intentions.
  3. Use a coach – through powerful questioning a coach can enable you to empty your head and make sense of everything that needs to be processed so you can create the best solution to keep you moving forward. Call/text Heather on 0212 406 535 or email heather@inspirationscoach.co.nz for that extra support.

So, go ahead – clear your head and have a great week!

Time to Reflect

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and often as we review our week we will feel that there are things that we could have done differently or in a better way.

Yet in each moment we can only do the best that we can with the knowledge and experience available to us at that time. We can call on others for their opinion yet ultimately it is us that makes the decision about what action to take at any given moment.

So how do you feel about the decisions and actions that you have taken over the last week? Are you beating yourself up for not being better? Or do you wish you had handled something in a different way?

We cannot change what has already happened – we can only accept where we are now as a result of the actions we took and be willing to learn from the experiences, so that we can continue to improve and be better the next time.

So….

  • What awareness have you gained from your experiences over the last week?.
  • Is there some extra knowledge that you need to gain and what action can you take to address this?
  • Was there something that you avoided doing because it made you uncomfortable? If so how would you prefer to handle a similar situation the next time?

As we take time to reflect on what has happened and where we are as a result each week we will continue to make steady progress towards on our goals and dreams. For tools and resources to help you with reflection call/ text Heather on 0212 406 535 or Email heather@inspirationscoach.co.nz