So you have decided you want to create a change in your life – to create different results. You start doing something differently or you start to use affirmations to change how you think. Everything goes along really smoothly for a while and you feel great, then out of nowhere you get swamped by challenges or emotions that can throw you into a place of confusion and stop you in your tracks. Why couldn’t you keep it up? What got in the way of achieving your goal? Why is it all so difficult?
This is where a coach is really useful to support you through the emotional roller coaster that you may start to experience with change. It is really useful to have the space and support to reflect on what has happened to throw you off course. Here are some of the reasons that can get in the way of creating your desired results…
There may be some deeply ingrained pattern of thoughts or beliefs that you were unaware of until now and these will need to be acknowledged and cleared.
You may start to experience feelings or emotions that you have managed to avoid before with your old behaviours. We tend to make life even more difficult by making ourselves wrong and beating ourselves up for feeling or experiencing what are considered negative emotions. This just serves to make us feel worse and we can spiral down into even more negative emotions which drain us of the energy we need to fulfill the change we desire.
There are often fears that surface when you start to move into a new way of being in the world. We can feel insecure because we are entering the unknown and don’t know how to respond to the new challenges in our lives – the old ways no longer seem to work, or feel really inappropriate now.
You may be challenged or criticised by people around you who don’t like the new way you are behaving. Again this is new territory when creating change because we don’t know what to say or do and it can be very tempting to go back to our old ways or patterns. Our resolve to stay committed to the change is being tested and we need to learn new ways to respond to those around us.
To help us through these challenges it is really useful to refocus on the outcome, the goal or intention that is driving our desire to change. What is it we are hoping to achieve through making these changes in our lives?
We will also need to call on support to help us through these challenging times and this is why it is really important to build strong support networks around us. We need to know who we can call on at these times when we doubt ourselves and our ability to create lasting change in our lives. If there is no one you can call on I strongly suggest that you fill this gap before you start to make big changes in your life.
Send me an email or give me call – 021 240 6535 if you are experiencing any of these challenges and need some support to make the changes you desire a reality.
Going through periods of change can be quite daunting for many of us. There can be lots of confusion and uncertainty as we try to make sense of all the feelings and emotions, thoughts and beliefs that come rushing up to the surface as we struggle to trust ourselves in knowing what is right for us.
The decision to change may be ours totally or change can be imposed on us through redundancy, family dynamics changing, illness or even death.
There can be thoughts such as “I can’t change easily” or “I have no idea what it is I need to do next”. There can be an emptiness which can be uncomfortable after making the decision to let go of one way of being in the world, whether personally or in business, as we take time to figure out what next. We may even be beating up on ourselves for not doing what we think we “should” be doing at these times.
I have been creating some changes with my branding and how I present myself to the world and was lucky enough to be able to attend a great workshop with Yvonne De Mille called the Life Transitions. It was designed to create greater understanding of some of the issues and challenges brought about by change and developing strategies to move forward in a positive way. And she does it through her passion for creating art which was really fun and enjoyable.
So what changes are you experiencing? Do you have tools or support that you can use to help you through this time? If not, call/ text Heather on 0212 406 535 or email email@example.com to explore how working with a coach could help you navigate your way through the journey of change.
When you are self employed or in a management position there are often a lot of different roles that you have to fill each day – lots of different details that you need to think about in each of these roles and it can be hard to know what action to take first.
Do you find yourself holding a lot of thoughts and ideas in your head?
Holding it all in your head very quickly leads to overwhelm and confusion and can cause you to feel paralyzed.
A key factor in success is being able to get all this information out of the head to create the space that is required to make good decisions about what do next. Here are three suggestions to help you…
Ask a trusted family member or friend if they would be willing to just listen without judgement allowing you to pour out all your thoughts.
Write it all out on paper – I am a regular journaller and find that by taking 15 min at the start of the day, or when needed, I can clear my head and get the clarity necessary to continue achieving my intentions.
Use a coach – through powerful questioning a coach can enable you to empty your head and make sense of everything that needs to be processed so you can create the best solution to keep you moving forward. Call/text Heather on 0212 406 535 or email firstname.lastname@example.org for that extra support.
So, go ahead – clear your head and have a great week!
I have taken on a new project over the last few weeks and there has been a feeling of total confusion as I have taken each day step by step to unravel what I needed to know and to do. Then suddenly last week as I was reflecting on where I was at, I had the feeling that it was all starting to make sense now. I was saying yes! – I’m now on top of it and can see everything coming together perfectly.
I also realized that every time I have decided to make a change in my life I have also gone through this process. First I create the intention of what I want to achieve, then I start to take action and all my old patterns or way of behaving in the world get dismantled. This is where the confusion lies because I then have to recreate new patterns and this process can take time depending on the size of the change I want to make, my familiarity with the outcome and the support I have available. It may take a few days, weeks or even years.
Sometimes it can seem easier to give up and return to the old and familiar ways of being in the world when the going gets tough – and indeed, I have done this in the past. The confusion can just feel too overwhelming at times.
Where are you at with the process of change?
Do you need extra support during this time of confusion to follow through the changes you want to make? Call/ text Heather on 0212 406 535 or Email email@example.com to explore some options.
Start to create a support list of people you can call on to keep you on track and share your goals with them.
Life can seem so fickle at times – no sooner are we feeling the amazement of our success as we stand in awe of what we have achieved – when Bang!! Right out of the blue something happens to shatter our bubble. More emotions and feelings come tumbling out to be healed.
And of course this is what our journey through life is all about. We decided what we wanted from life and only through experiencing the painful times can we become aware of the buried thoughts and beliefs that we need to let go of to achieve our chosen outcome.
So if you find yourself in a place of pain and confusion, just as you were thinking how well you were doing…
• Know that it is all happening perfectly
• Accept the emotions that have come up as an opportunity – be willing to become aware of the thoughts and beliefs that are underneath the emotions and to let them go because they no longer serve you.
• Use a journal to allow you to process the thoughts and feelings so that you can let them go more easily and quickly.
• Remember that feeling of success and wow -“Look what I have achieved!” that you have experienced in the past. As you continue to create your ideal life you will have more and more of these experiences to call on.
• Remind yourself of your outcome that you want to create – visualize what it will look and feel like when you finally get there, and let go of how it is going to happen.