When you want to create change in your life it is not a good idea to start from a place of neediness or dissatisfaction.
This would seem to be a contradiction in terms when setting goals, however, along with setting your goal there must also be a level of acceptance for where you are right now. It can be very hard to come to terms with where you are now when it is causing you a lot of pain and consequently it is this part of creating change that people struggle with the most. This is where having the support of someone, such as a coach, who understands the process of creating change is really important.
It is how you handle the present moment that will dictate how difficult or easy it will be for you to create the change you desire and ultimately the success you are looking for in life.
Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth, suggests a great question to ask yourself regularly…” What is my relationship with the present moment?”
Give it a try – and when you discover any resistance to the present moment contact Heather to talk about how coaching can help eliminate this block.
Overwhelm seems to be the disease of the 21st century – everyone experiences it at one time or another. It seems to be a default setting that we flick into especially when our resistance is low.
So what is overwhelm? According to the dictionary it is to load with too great an amount, to defeat completely, to overcome and to make helpless.
So what can we do to remove this sense of helplessness and return to a state of feeling empowered once again. Here are some ideas…
1. Let the lists go. I am a great advocate for getting things out of our heads and down on paper however there comes a point when we have so much down on paper it can feel like there is just too much to do. So without looking at your lists choose one thing to focus and take action on right now that feels right for you. Put everything else to the side until that is completed.
2. Finish all your unfinished business. Take on no new projects until you have some completed some or all of the projects that are incomplete. There is a lot to be said for multi tasking however in reality often we are more effective when we focus on one thing at a time, so choose that one thing that will make the biggest difference for you right now.
3. Clear your desk. When we are in overwhelm we will usually have lots of “stuff” scattered on our desks or around our work space. Attend to everything on your desk or in box by filing it an organised way that makes sense to you. I tend to create a project folder to capture all the thoughts and bits of paper or documents lying around so it is all in one place when I do sit down to focus my attention on that topic.
4. Do it now. When in overwhelm I often think of an admin assistant I know who will always deal with stuff there and then when she can. She is a great role model for efficiency. I have a tendency to put things to the side with the intention of coming back to them however it can be difficult to find the time to come back – it can be much easier to deal with something straight away when it is in your hand – so get into the habit of making the decision there and then about what needs to happen with that email or document and do it straight away when possible.
5. Stop beating yourself up for being in overwhelm. Everyone experiences overwhelm and we all come out of it again, usually much quicker when we start to talk to ourselves in a much kinder and gentle way. Reach out for support to regain a healthy perspective – talking it through with someone can give you the clarity you need to shift it and if overwhelm is a constant companion consider working with a coach to completely change this habit.
6. Use the Bach Flower Essence for overwhelm – Elm can be purchased at a health food store, is completely natural, easy to take and very effective when you need some extra support.
So you have decided you want to create a change in your life – to create different results. You start doing something differently or you start to use affirmations to change how you think. Everything goes along really smoothly for a while and you feel great, then out of nowhere you get swamped by challenges or emotions that can throw you into a place of confusion and stop you in your tracks. Why couldn’t you keep it up? What got in the way of achieving your goal? Why is it all so difficult?
This is where a coach is really useful to support you through the emotional roller coaster that you may start to experience with change. It is really useful to have the space and support to reflect on what has happened to throw you off course. Here are some of the reasons that can get in the way of creating your desired results…
There may be some deeply ingrained pattern of thoughts or beliefs that you were unaware of until now and these will need to be acknowledged and cleared.
You may start to experience feelings or emotions that you have managed to avoid before with your old behaviours. We tend to make life even more difficult by making ourselves wrong and beating ourselves up for feeling or experiencing what are considered negative emotions. This just serves to make us feel worse and we can spiral down into even more negative emotions which drain us of the energy we need to fulfill the change we desire.
There are often fears that surface when you start to move into a new way of being in the world. We can feel insecure because we are entering the unknown and don’t know how to respond to the new challenges in our lives – the old ways no longer seem to work, or feel really inappropriate now.
You may be challenged or criticised by people around you who don’t like the new way you are behaving. Again this is new territory when creating change because we don’t know what to say or do and it can be very tempting to go back to our old ways or patterns. Our resolve to stay committed to the change is being tested and we need to learn new ways to respond to those around us.
To help us through these challenges it is really useful to refocus on the outcome, the goal or intention that is driving our desire to change. What is it we are hoping to achieve through making these changes in our lives?
We will also need to call on support to help us through these challenging times and this is why it is really important to build strong support networks around us. We need to know who we can call on at these times when we doubt ourselves and our ability to create lasting change in our lives. If there is no one you can call on I strongly suggest that you fill this gap before you start to make big changes in your life.
Send me an email or give me call – 021 240 6535 if you are experiencing any of these challenges and need some support to make the changes you desire a reality.