So you have decided you want to create a change in your life – to create different results. You start doing something differently or you start to use affirmations to change how you think. Everything goes along really smoothly for a while and you feel great, then out of nowhere you get swamped by challenges or emotions that can throw you into a place of confusion and stop you in your tracks. Why couldn’t you keep it up? What got in the way of achieving your goal? Why is it all so difficult?
This is where a coach is really useful to support you through the emotional roller coaster that you may start to experience with change. It is really useful to have the space and support to reflect on what has happened to throw you off course. Here are some of the reasons that can get in the way of creating your desired results…
There may be some deeply ingrained pattern of thoughts or beliefs that you were unaware of until now and these will need to be acknowledged and cleared.
You may start to experience feelings or emotions that you have managed to avoid before with your old behaviours. We tend to make life even more difficult by making ourselves wrong and beating ourselves up for feeling or experiencing what are considered negative emotions. This just serves to make us feel worse and we can spiral down into even more negative emotions which drain us of the energy we need to fulfill the change we desire.
There are often fears that surface when you start to move into a new way of being in the world. We can feel insecure because we are entering the unknown and don’t know how to respond to the new challenges in our lives – the old ways no longer seem to work, or feel really inappropriate now.
You may be challenged or criticised by people around you who don’t like the new way you are behaving. Again this is new territory when creating change because we don’t know what to say or do and it can be very tempting to go back to our old ways or patterns. Our resolve to stay committed to the change is being tested and we need to learn new ways to respond to those around us.
To help us through these challenges it is really useful to refocus on the outcome, the goal or intention that is driving our desire to change. What is it we are hoping to achieve through making these changes in our lives?
We will also need to call on support to help us through these challenging times and this is why it is really important to build strong support networks around us. We need to know who we can call on at these times when we doubt ourselves and our ability to create lasting change in our lives. If there is no one you can call on I strongly suggest that you fill this gap before you start to make big changes in your life.
Send me an email or give me call – 021 240 6535 if you are experiencing any of these challenges and need some support to make the changes you desire a reality.
I have recently completed a Level 2 Bach Flower course – for those of you not familiar with Bach Flower remedies they were developed by a medical doctor, Dr. Edward Bach,about 70 years ago. He believed that disease was a result of an imbalance in the emotions and that modern medicine was failing to keep people healthy.
He developed 38 remedies, all based on plants or herbs, which support health and well being through re-balancing the emotions. Each remedy relates to a different emotional or mental state and combinations can be mixed to fit perfectly with what a client is currently experiencing in their lives.
These remedies are completely natural, safe and easy to take and I have found them really useful during times of change or challenges in my life and more recently in the lives of my clients.
To find out more visit http://www.bachfloweressences.co.uk/. The Remedy Chooser on this site is particularly useful for clients who want to choose their own remedies. I charge $12 if you would like to have a remedy mixed up after using this tool – just send me an e-mail or call/ text Heather on 0212 406 535 to arrange the details.
As you may know my tag line has always been Inspiring Success, Health and Well being. Because of my background of being self employed for nearly 20 years, including experience in owning a small business, I have mostly worked with small business owners creating structure , systems and routines to support the development of themselves and their businesses. So the focus has been very much on creating success within this environment.
Recently however I have been working with a few clients with major health issues from genetic illnesses to autoimmune diseases and depression. I am a great believer in having really great support as you challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone and deal with issues that are getting in the way of your success. I keep hearing that these clients are not finding value in support groups who meet with a focus on the illness and indeed the whole definition of what success looks like changes when faced with a health condition that completely reshapes your life.
So how do you handle it all?
These clients have expressed an interest in wanting to be around positive people who can see the person behind the illness, who recognize and encourage opportunities for learning, growth and understanding. So you can set the intention to build or connect with a community that will support you in this way.
There is a real need to learn to talk to ourselves in a positive and supportive way, to be kind and gentle with ourselves when dealing with illness. We tend to beat ourselves up for not being healthy, for not handling things as well as we used to – there is often a real lack of understanding or acceptance of the emotions that we all go through as we come to terms with new limitations. So start to notice how you’re talking to yourself and be willing to be more compassionate as you come to terms with the changes.
There are many beliefs that exist around various illnesses about what is and isn’t possible, that can get in the way of having a different experience, which could allow a person to transform their quality of life. Start to become aware of these beliefs and to really explore and challenge them. Are they really true and can you find examples of people who think differently about what is and isn’t possible?
The rules that society use to define success will also no longer apply. It will be the small steps, the little things that we can complete that give us satisfaction each day and the moments of peace that we experience in amongst the turmoil that will have more meaning. It takes time to adjust to this change in particular. So start today, exactly where you are right now and start to pay attention to the little things that matter rather than dismissing them too quickly as not good enough. You may be surprised to discover that the small things that you can contribute actually have so much more value to others than you might have once thought.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and welcome comments to this blog to share you experiences. And if you need some extra support as you go through any changes with your life call/ text Heather on 0212 406 535 or email email@example.com to arrange to time for a chat.