There was so much we covered at the Cafe on Tuesday – the theme was “decision points”. Here are the questions and key points that stood out for me from our discussions.
What do you do when there is no choice in a situation?
- Realise that you are not in charge completely
- Practice acceptance versus resistance to what is happening.
- Recognise that it may not be the right time to make a decision – listen to the recording below from Jan Lundy,my mentor, for some ideas on what to do in the meantime until it is the right time to make a decision.
- Sometimes there isn’t a decision that needs to be made – get all the questions running around in your head down on paper so you can get clear on what you need to decide, if anything, right now.
- Choose your attitude, allow yourself to experience peace despite what is happening in your life.
- Learn to become comfortable with uncertainty. Observe thoughts and emotions that come up and let them go. We don’t have to hold on to them.
- Letting go of plans/ goals/ the way things should be. Try a gentler approach with more flexibility by making decisions in the moment.
How do you stick to decisions you make?
- Create a plan and use affirmations to prepare for moments of potential weakness.
- Rather than beat yourself up observe what happens when you break a decision that you made e.g not to eat chocolate. What’s going on in your head, how does it make you feel. When you pay attention in this way gradually over time you will discover you no longer crave what you once did and it becomes easier to stick with your decisions.
How do you make decisions that are right for you without upsetting others?
- Need for compromise – quite an art to this really and it is the challenge in all relationships when we want to do one thing and everyone else wants us to do something else. We need to know ourselves really well so we can confidently assert ourselves. We need to be aware of selling our souls when we compromise to please others. Constantly check in with yourself – how are you feeling, how are your energy levels. These are reliable indicators to let us know if we have compromised or given away too much of our power to others. It takes practice, a willingness to make mistakes and time to reflect and learn so we can do it differently the next time.
- You will upset others at times as you become more assertive – learn how to feel comfortable with this.
Here is the link to the recording I have mentioned http://www.awakenedliving.com/podcasts/LivingInTheMeantimeAug2010.mp3 and I have attached a flyer for the “Simplify your Life” workshop series that is starting next week.