February 9, 2009 · Relationships

Communication is often a challenge in families and mine is no exception. My children don’t like me asking them lots of questions and can complain that I am not listening. Now sometimes it is true that I haven’t listened (I am human after all) but sometimes I haven’t heard them properly or understood what they said. So I can also get frustrated when I have to ask them questions or to repeat themselves so I do understand!

This week I had a great reminder at my son’s soccer training about who is responsible for what in the process of communication. The coach emphasized that it was always OK to ask questions and then he added that if the players don’t understand something he has asked them to do that it is his responsibility to make sure he is understood. He takes responsibility for not communicating his message clearly enough and needs to find another way to express it.

Immediately I thought “Yeah – it is OK to ask my sons questions and it is their responsibility to make themselves understood”.

However there is still the part about listening. If my children are communicating something to me it is my responsibility to stop and listen to what they are saying even if it means asking for 5 min to finish what I am working on so I can be free to concentrate.

So the lesson for me from this meeting was that it is OK to ask my sons to take responsibility for how they communicate and it is also up to me to be responsible for my part in the process by listening carefully.

So how good are you at taking responsibility for your part in a conversation?

  • Do you listen when someone is talking to you?
  • Do you get frustrated and upset when you are asked too many questions?
  • What would you like to take responsibility for and improve in your communications today?

And if you need some extra support with communication issues you can give me a call/ text on 0212 406 535 or email heather@inspirationscoach.co.nz to arrange a time for a chat.

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